rolling
there is a forum post in a discord server I'm in that has the sole purpose of being a space to roll d20s. whenever you roll a 20 or a 1 you get a funny graphic.

as one may expect, the most common mode for using this post is to roll until you get the 20 and then enjoy that you finally got it, and then move on. I find it annoying to scroll through, but it is the purpose of the thread so it's otherwise innocuous.

my mode for using this thread is to just occasionally roll in it. I once had a project to see how long it would take me to roll every single number if I did it daily, and it went pretty well as a silly little activity. importantly, this meant my rolls were pretty sparse at any one time, there's simply no giant block where I gunned for that 20.

this weekend, I decided to tabulate how many 20s had been rolled since the command was introduced, and I found that among all people who have engaged in this silly activity, I was actually in the top spot for 20s rolled, tied with one other user.

it is so ridiculous. anyone with a mind for stories could tell what moral there'd be here. slow and steady wins the race. those who would be over eager will just burn out or lose interest. whatever you want. I take a piece of this story with me, it's a fun anecdote that I probably won't ever share but it'll hang around.

but concerningly, there's another angle to this. I committed an act of datafication. I put numbers to a pointless activity. numbers that can go up. the human mind can now spin up and begin a process to cause a state change. there's is much more incentive to simply outcompete the tortoise now that it is known exactly how well it is doing. I've decide to silently update the chart since I feel committed to the bit but don't want to drive unnecessary engagement to the activity. maybe this is a good thing to do. maybe I'm just motivated to be an untied first placer with my occasional rolls. either way, stories don't end simply I suppose.