| replying to this post by 🌱🌿🌲... |
blogging about my unhealthy relationship with league of legends
EZstreet, my ranked solo/duo partner, has not logged on for three days. Without him, who logs off without fail circa midnight, i am freefloating through a boundaryless void. what used to be a ritual 2-3 games of league a night for the both of us— HEALTHY— has turned into my dumbass playing for sickening quantities of hours in a row until i can literally feel my body begging for me to take preventative measures versus rot and decay (i dont listen).
i am having so much trouble hitting platinum. gold this season is the stickiest thing i have ever experienced. one tricking belveth doesn't feel very impactful (and let's be honest . . i felt like a support character when i one tricked her a coupla years ago all the way to emerald rank. the joy of singlehandedly carrying the game just doesn't come to me in ranked games) and singed is like,, okay,, but also kind of whatever. and adc is fun and good and honestly might be my ticket up, but glass cannoning is SO much mental tax. i grow tired after like 2-3 games.
all this to say i am once again coming to the conclusion i came to so many times before: league of legends is EMOTIONAL GAMBLING. matchmaking seeks to give you a 50% winrate. 2025 year of the coin. also my bedtime protocol of needing to end on a win is soooo slippery lol. fail to notice a babana peel and whoosp! it's 3am.
i hate my relationship to this game. playing it feels SO good. i have likened it to coffee before. it is a very easy way to get adrenaline pumping through your system. and i have played for so long that the mastery of the skill and the familiarity of the game's systems are honestly kind of comforting.
...
but like.. i probably need to start completely ignoring ranked mode. i want to unlock the green variant of the Victorious Skin end-of-season reward. like that's the only reason i am subjecting myself to this, lol. i like the color green AND, and this is sickening: they don't tell you which character the end-of-season reward skin is for, so i'm left FOMOing my way through samsara circle of hell because, on the off chance that the victorious skin is for one of the like,,,, 8 champions that i actually enjoy playing, and i didn't grind my ass up to green rank? i will forever be marred by my lack of dedication to my children. i would not be beautiful. it would be an eternal mark of shame on my videogame account.
typing it all out, yeah. it's very silly. but i dunno man. i'm going to play one more round before going to bed tonight.
